DMC Abridged: Episode 4

Devil May Cry: The Abridged Series
Episode 4- Devil May Catfight


City Church
Priest: I'm asking you to help me! It's the woman with lightning. She's terrorizing the townspeople, and I don't know what to turn to in my time of crisis! (cries)
Lady: So, I get to kill things, right?

Back Alley Streets
Lady is riding on her motorcycle and starts killing a demon that was in her way.
Lady: Ooh, a victim. (looks up to see more demons in front of her and on the roofs) Yay! More victims! They're everywhere! (starts killing more of the demons on her bike)
Demon: Ouch! (gets shocked by a blast of blue lightning from nowhere)
Lady: (looks up to see Trish up on the roofs) What? Lightning?? (gets off her motorcycle and draws out a pistol)
Later, Lady ends up in a battle against Trish and avoids the lightning attacks. She traverses around the buildings and roofs, then meets Trish at a closer range. Lady shoots with her pistol but Trish jumps off the roof and disappears.

Devil May Cry Shop
Dante: (reads a women's fashion magazine and looks at the women portrayed on the pages) Let's see. I do her, do her, wouldn't do her… Do her if he paid me
Lady: (comes in and snatches the magazine from Dante, looking at the pages in disbelief) Thinking about cross-dressing?
Dante: I like that one. I think it goes with my eyes!
Lady: (speaks as if she had been crying) Dante, yesterday I got beat up by this mean girl!
Dante: No way.
Lady: She had skanky blonde hair and shot me with lightning.
Dante: Hmm… You're probably just overreacting. Where's (some other voice actress)? She replaces you as the main female focus.
Patty: (enters the shop and sees Lady) Oh, hi, Lady. You're leaving?
Lady: Next time you cut into my screen-time, I'll crush your skull. (heads out and walks away from the shop) I can't lose! I have to be the female focus; I have to!
Trish: Heh-heh. Loser…
Meanwhile, Patty is showing another women's fashion magazine in front of Dante. Dante, however, is reading the newspaper and trying to ignore Patty.
Patty: What do you think?
Dante: I'm not getting you clothes from this magazine.
Patty: But you lose that Yu-Gi-Oh! Match.
Dante: I could've won.
Patty: You summoned a bunch of monsters in the same turn.
Dante:  Yeah, so?
Patty: That's against the rules!
Dante: Screw the rules! I have white hair!

Downtown Shopping Arcade

Lady is in a fashion boutique and looks at the clothes on display on the long clothes rack. She sees that the clothes have expensive price tags on them, but she picks up a few items and searches for some other items.
Lady: It's my image. I need a new image, and fast. (picks up a green cardigan and heads for the change room but bumps into Trish and she walks out) Bitch, get your ass back to Naruto! (heads into the change room and begins to undress) … I can feel the fans leaving me. Fan service!

Back at the City Church
Priest: I hired you to kill that devil-woman! Do you get easily side-tracked?
Lady: I'm sure that my personal vendetta is more important than your little shire.
Trish breaks into the church and battles Lady. The priest runs to hide while the battle goes under way. Dante, outside, notices the explosion from Lady's Kalina Ann bayonet-bazooka that just fired in the church.
Dante: Oh, man. Looks like her time of the month.
Lady and Trish are bashing each other with punches and kicks. Eventually, when Trish begins to kill Lady with an electric shock, the Rebellion sword is swung and hits a church bench between where Lady and Trish are standing. They both see Dante at the doors.
Dante: (annoyed) Oh, damn it, I missed! I mean, uh—(cheerfully) Hey! It's Trish!
Lady: What the hell is going on here?!
Trish: Didn't you...play the first game?
Lady: Of course, I didn't!
Dante: (sighs) She threw a sword at me.
Trish: I didn't just throw it at him; I pinned him to his desk, and threw a motorcycle.
Lady: Oh yeah? Well, I shot him in the head and ruined his first trench-coat! The bullet's still there, right in the wardrobe.
Trish: That's gotta hurt.
Lady: Then after like that, I should send you back to Gotohall.
Dante: How 'bout we talk about something other than things that have hurt Dante?
Trish: Quiet, Dante. The grown-ups are talking.
Dante: You're not my real mom.
The Priest comes in with rage.
Priest: Why haven't you killed each other yet? I'll do it myself!
Lady: Demons disguised as a priest? That's a new one.
The Priest transforms into a demonic behemoth.
Dante: Such a dramatic entrance. I just feel bad for killing the guy in one hit.
Dante, Lady and Trish battle the demon and win the fight in seconds, leaving the church later on.

Devil May Cry Shop
Trish grabs her bag and on her way out goes over to Dante.
Trish: Hey, Dante. Have you...gotten over that sword thing, from the first game?
Dante: Just get out.
Trish goes out and finds Lady in a burgundy suit on her motorcycle when she presses the honk alarm.
Lady: Hop on.
Trish: (gets on the motorcycle by Lady) How can you afford an outfit like that on your salary?
Lady: It's easy once you know Dante's credit card numbers.
Trish: Oh, really?
Patty runs to the entrance of 'Devil May Cry' with a bag full of expensive clothes but stops at the steps.
Patty: Well, I hope Dante doesn't mind that I borrowed his credit card!

The End.

Later...
Dante: I'm still pissed about the sword thing, by the way.